d0wn_the_drain

MMMMMMMMMYAH!!!!

The talk with my parents went in the complete oppisite direction than I was expecting it to go in. In the end, I'm 100% done with WCC (thank God), I'm gonna be working full time until September, with the options of either joining the military or going away to college then. So I'm in a pretty good position as of now.

Last night was wierd. Went to the mall with Vin to by a few things, then grabbed Fontane and went to Joe's with them and Fontane's cousins Georgi and his sister. Drove down to Eastchester to pick up Sergei and Ivan. I've been down there enough lately that I didn't have to call Ivan for directions, and was able to find out exactly where to go by myself. On the way back to Joe's we stopped off at Napoli's, where Sergei wennt off of me and Ivan on how he can't sell Arizona cans for $2. Played some Du Rok and Bullshit in Joe's kitchen. Burned one down with Vin. Got home at 3 and just passed out.

This afternoon, I picked up Dimaso gathered up a grand in Yorktown, and ate some big ass slices of pizza at Maria's. Went to Sergei's after goin to Charlie Browns. Came back to my house for dinner and some pool, Greg came along. Met up with Taylor, he got a haircut lol. Juhn Orlando came back so we grabbed him and went to the Croton Dam to go brun some herb. Ate madd food at Sergei's while his mom watched some Russian tv show on her laptop. Then realizing that were going to be drinking all day tomarrow, we decided to go in early and rest ourselves for the event. Which finds me 15 mins later in front of my comp writing in this.

Tomarrow, is gonna be nuts. Hope to see everybody at some point in time. Either way, have fun gettin trashed. Happy New Year.

Peace.

I'm about to go break it to my parents that I got arrested again. It's probably gonna turn out bad. I'm most likly going to be joining the military after this. Navy, Army, Air Force, or the Marines? To be honest, im pretty damn scared to tell them.

Wish me luck.

Um, yeah, I decided to start writing in this again because it will be mm way of remembering the winter, without making another collage, because I just don't have the time or energy for it anymore.

Break started out real good, John Orlando came up for a few days. I picked him up from Long Island with Sergei and Ivan. It was just one big smokefest with him. He's gonna be commin up for a majority of the break.

On Thursday, right after work, I went to Iron Willies pool hall with the guys from the counter at Best. Toked a little bit with Steve, the 40-year-old stoner. Then went on to hustling everybody on the tables. I won myself and Jose three beers each and not having to pay for my time playing. Since then I think that a signicant percentage of the older generations still blazes.

I don't know how they did it, but Vin and Fontane were able to convince me into getting my eyebrows waxed with them. I must admit, it does look alot better and cleaner with it done.

I finished making my collage of the Summer '05. I wouldn't have been able to to do it if it weren't for Kara Brown and Val D. Other thanks goes to John O, Ivan and Persy. Slaved myself on it for about three weeks. It's the best thing I have ever made, and I'm real proud of it. Vin, "If I didn't know that the surprise was the collage, I would have cried."

Christmas was alright. I went to my Grandma's. I slept on the couch for most of the time though. Karl ended up commin over my house madd late to look at the collage. He was real impressed with it, and also with my driving, because the last time he was in my car with me was when I just got it and I sucked at stick.

The collage is at Joe's now. My mom didn't want anything that glorified me getting drunk or stoned in the house. But bringing it to Joe's brought along two parties with it. The first was small, but the second was huge and attacted the attention of the cops.

For the first party, Sergei Ivan and I took small white pieces of paper and placed them under our toungs, which were going to be a Christmas gift for someone. A quest to find the center house in the middle of the ring brought us to Ariana's. That was interesting. I didn't see shit, but my whole perspective, thinking, and viewpoint on everything was changed. An intense body high. I, for the first time, was able to to look at my collage (which was displayed for everybody) as if i wasn't the one whole made it, and was looking at it for the first time. Strong emotions were throughout the whole thing. On the drive home, Vin played this real soothing ambient sounding music (ambien is in the word ambient....yum). The sounds of waves crashing on a beach made me feel the most peaceful I have ever felt in my life. I found inner peace. It was weird.

The next day, I was able to get Becca to come to Joe's to see the collage. We talked for a bit, then went to pick up Vin, Persy, and Fontane. It was nice to just see Vin and Becca talking again. I miss it. Joe and I then started a huge party, just about all my friends showed up. Mark went on a few runs with Schecter. I'd say there were at least 50 people at Joe's. We baked the bathroom a few times. My favorite one was with Dimaso because there was this little freshman girl in high school there, who claims that she smokes all the time, and stayed in the bathroom with us, but the funny part was that she was too scared to hit the blunt. She is also able to smell like smoke when she goes home, but she couldn't go home high. Makes no sence. She was also hittin on me madd lots that night, but thats just wrong. Mark ended up yellin at her sayin "I't past you bedtime, go home." lol. Cops came once and everybody fled into the neighbor's yard. Stepped into a ditch in the meantime and fucked my leg up. Everybody left after that, and then the cops showed up again and came inside. Dimaso and I fled out the back and ran up the rod in the oppisite direction. Found Wagner who then drove us home. Insane night.

Well thats just the first week and half of winter break. I'm just hoping the rest will be just as much fun.

Peace.

Picked up Sergei and his roomate JP from Manhattenville at around 8:00. Smoked from a bowl while driving to Bighamton, which i arrived at around 11:00. Found Mark at his frat house, where he handed me Sergei and JP some vodka and cranberry juice (drink count: 2). Went down stairs and started playing beer pong with Mark until the keg was kicked. Made sure i wished Mark happy 21st b-day when it turned 12:00. Left for the bar cause there was nomore beer (Drink Count: 8). Used Schecters ID to get into the bar. Mark and I passed off our bracelets to Segei and JP so they can get in. $20.00 for 4 shots of Lagermeister and 2 beers. I did that with Mark 3 times(Drink Count: 18ish). Now the rest had to be told to me because i dont remember any of it...Supposidly the bouncers at the bar had to break me and Mark up on 4 different occations for fighting. Until they finally kicked me out, and dragged Mark out. We took a cab with some girl Mark knows at Bighamton back to the girls dorm. It was then that 2 RAs saw me and then sent me to the hospital.

At 11:00 some gay guy who was a nurse woke me up. I was dressed in only a hospital gown. I had an IV in my arm and i had 5 pads stuck on my chest, which was most likely taking my vital signs. They wouldn't let me leave so i had to call Alex Phaf. to pick me up cause Mark wasn't answering his phone, and Sergei's phone died. Alex picks me, we take a cab to my car but I still had to walk around the city in just the hospital gown because i puked all over my cloths the night before. Got new cloths and went to Alex's dorm. Met of with Mark and went to Denny's for some french toast. Found Sergei and JP at the frat house. Smoked a blunt with Mark, Sergei and some Russian kid in the frat. Bought an Adderall with my last five dollars. CHecked out Marks dorm. Met his REALLY gay and REALLY Jewish roomate. Then left for home.

Started out with $100. Ended with $0, but i dont regret that part, i regret not staying another night. Im goin up again soon. Lemme know if u wanna come.

P.S. My face still fuckin hurts from fightin Mark.

She clings to me like cellophane
Fake plastic submarine
Slowly driving me insane
But now that's over

So what if the sex was great
Just a temporary escape
Another thing I grew to hate
But now that's over

Why?
Why do you always kick me when I'm high
Knock me down till we see eye to eye
Figured her out I know she
May not be Miss Right but she'll do right now

I used to hang on every word
Each lie was more absurd
Kept me so insecure
But now that's over

She taught me how to trust
And to believe in us
And then she taught me how to cuss ... that bitch!
It's over

I used to be such a nice boy

Woke up today to my mom asking me "Why did i try to take a piss in the kitchen sink?".

Got completely shit faced last night, idk if it was the worst so far this summer. It wont be because of Ivan's b-day party on the 12th at Sergei's.

Should have listened to Mark and Molly the VERY FIRST TIME...

Parents leave the 21st so me and Mark will be throwin madd parties for a week. So give me a call.

Need some bacon egg and cheeses...Peace

Im wasted again
Passed out dont know who I am
Im so wasted again
Black out dont know where Ive been
Or who I am

I thought I could make it on my own
I thought I was indestructible
I had an excuse cause i was young
I thought I was so untouchable
I would throw it all away
I would throw my life away

Im wasted again
Passed out dont know who I am
Im so wasted again
Black out dont know where Ive been

I couldnt admit that I was wrong
I didnt fit in didnt belong
I was young
I was stupid
A life of despair
I was proud
I was angry
I just didnt care
I was everything I never wanted to be
I became my enemy
I would throw it all away
I would throw my life away

Im wasted again
Passed out dont know who I am
Im so wasted again
Black out dont know where Ive been
or who I am

They Said I had potential
They said I got whats coming to me
They say I got the devil
and I dont know whats wrong with me
whats wrong with me

Im wasted again
Passed out dont know who I am
So wasted again
Black out dont know where Ive been
Im wasted again
Passed out dont know who I am
So wasted again
Black out dont know where Ive been
Cause Im wasted again
Im wasted again
Im wasted again
Im wasted again

I was driving today and i saw this sign...
"Never Let Yesterday Use Up Today".........

I've come to my senses,
That I've become senseless,
I could give you lessons on how to ruin your friendships,
Every last conviction, I smoked them all away,
I drank my frustrations down the drain, out of the way,
So I sit and wait and wonder,
" Does anyone else feel like me?"
Someone so tired of their routines and disappearing self-esteems,

I'll sing along,
Yeah with every emergency,
Just sing along,
I'm the king of catastrophies,
I'm so far gone,
That deep down inside I think it's fine by me,
I'm my own worst enemy

I could be an expert on co-dependency,
I could write the best book on underage tragedy,
I've been spending my time at the local liquor store,
I've been sleeping nightly on my best friends kitchen floor,
So I sit and wait and wonder,
" Does anyone else feel like me?"
I'm so overdosed on apathy and put down on sympathy


Let the meaning slip away
Lost my faith in another day,
Self deprication seems okay,
I never thought I'd make it anyway


I'm my own worst enemy

Today reminded me too much of last summer. It was just me Abadie, Sergei, and Kara grillin and blazin an L at Sergei's house. Justin Pia and his friend Matt stopped by just in time to help us all rush everything in cause it started to rain. Drove around with Abadie in the Hummer listenin to Sublime, which really made it seem like last summer. Which leaves you with this.....



Pull over there's a reason why my soul's unsound

It's you
It's that shit stuck under my shoe
It's that smell inside the van
It's my bed sheet covered with sand
Sitting through a shitty band
Getting dog shit on my hands
Getting hassled by the man

Waking up to an alarm
Sticking needles in your arm
Picking up trash on a freeway
Feeling depressed everyday
Leaving without making a sound
Picking my dog at the pound
Living in a tweaker pad
Getting yelled at by my dad


Saying I'm happy when I'm not
Finding roaches in the pot
All these things I do
They're waiting for you.

Sea Side round one was sick....not a sober moment...

Sea Side round two with Percy, Cuomo and Vin....won't be a sober moment...

being the nice guy obviously doesn't work anymore?

IM madd fucked up right now.....im waiting for dominoes right now....we ordered like 8 pies and bread stix.... abadie's is crazy....and where is dominoes......he told us 35 mins when its already been 40 mins...wtf

School sux. Everybody is wearing green. I can care less about today, cause i aint irish. Just wanna get drunk.

Mark called me 3rd period today while i was in humanities, just to tell me he's goin down to the city, lucky bastard.

Becca, i want my ring back u thief.

NEWS BREAK: Not only does Allison have humongus boobs, but she also has a large amount of weenus.

Im goin runnin later. Peace.

Got the new Goldfinger CD, Disconection Notice, yesterday from FYE. Hellz yeah! Had to have Abadie buy it for me cause im not allowed in that store anymore or else ill get arrested for criminal trespassing.

Just told some at work that im supposed to sub for that i cant work for him anymore. Fuck that kid, I aint workin on a Friday. Im out all night tho. Call me if u wanna do anything.

Madd bored and i hate typing on laptops. Peace.

Out here in the fields
I fight for my meals
I get my back into my living
I don't need to fight
To prove I'm right
I don't need to be forgiven

Don't cry
Don't raise your eye
It's only teenage wasteland

Sally ,take my hand
Travel south crossland
Put out the fire
Don't look past my shoulder
The exodus is here
The happy ones are near
Let's get together
Before we get much older

Teenage wasteland
It's only teenage wasteland
Teenage wasteland
Oh, oh
Teenage wasteland
They're all wasted!

Im updating this thing at school right now because my brothers computer is all fucked up, but anyways...this weekend sucked, too much drama.

Friday was just weird cause i stop off at the diner with Vin to see half of my school there, to just leave to go to Larry's with Vin and Seco. Kyle, Joe S. and I think some other people stopped by. I had half a bottle of Bacardi Gold that i split with my brother. Only took a whole bunch of shots. Went home with Abadie.

Saturday just shraight up sucked ballz. Went to Larry's with Vin. Ali and Kelly came by. Then Mark. Then some other people who only stayed for a little bit. Started drinking what I had left over from Friday, which was about a 3rd of a handle. Abadie came. Becca and Jenny came. I drank my entire bottle. Blacked out for a while (and i only know that because Kinsley said that he came and so did Cuomo and Morelock and her friend and i dont remember any of that so i must have black out). Molly came, but i dont remember the order of events but all i know is that i THINK i went to Wendy's with Vin Larry and Molly, fell asleep in the car, came back to Larry's road, puked in the street, and for some reason Mark and Molly were in the biggest arguement ive ever seen. Sobered up instantly, and stood for Molly cause Mark was out of control and drunk. Was going to fight Mark if Larry didnt hold him back and if i wasnt held back. Tried to get Mark to not drive home but he still did. Molly said something about my brother that i wish she didnt because i put me in the worst mood which im still in. I think i got a purple monkey in there somewhere from Jenny, because it was the Purple Day celebration. Me, Jenny, Becca, Vin, Larry, Molly, and Abadie just then went to sleep in Larry's basement.....


Becca and Jenny left Larry's on Saturday around 9 in the morning, so I just decided to go to sleep cause i think i only had like 3-4 hours of sleep. 2 mins later Vin gets a phone call from Becca. Then all he says is we got to go cause Jenny just got into a car accident and totaled her car in front of the Indian church. Supposedly Jenny hit black ice on the hill right before the church and did a whole bunch of 360’s, went off the side of the road, took out a couple of signs, and hit into a tree. So we go down there, there are flairs already set up, fire department ambulance is on its way and everything. McGinty shows up cause he was on call. Jenny was fine tho, just a few scratches from broken glass, some chest pain from the seatbelt, and a bruised leg. Yet they still have to take her out on a stretcher and a neck brace. She was then taken to the hospital. Me Vin Abadie and Becca went there too. The waiting room was madd fun. Jenny was released fairly quickly. I then went home. Passed out. Went to Abadie’s to play some Halo. Then to work, which was really slow because of the Super Bowl, was in the worst mood the entire time. Went to Jenny’s after work and finished watching the game there, and the mood came with me. Met her friend Robin, I think that that was her name. Went home, and watched Aqua Team Hunger Force, which I think is one of the worst shows ever. Tried to go to sleep but couldn’t because of the Adderal I took before work. Teeth clenching……

Sorry that this was long and boring.

And that’s an overview of the weekend, and fuck this shit im took tired and bored to write anymore. Peace.

Commin back to school after having a week off can't be easier than this, considering that I was hardly in it. Left after 1st period on Monday to go to Vin's grandma's funeral, Tuesday was the only day that I stayed in the entire time but I still didnt even go to all my classes. Wednesday me and Vin left after 3rd period to go chill with Becca, and today me Vin and Abadie left after 4th.

Baked a cake on Tuesday. It was a white cake with vanilla icing. Which was made for Wednesday cause it was Jenny's holiday called Purple Day. On Wednesday, me Vin and Becca met up at the mall after leaving school where me and Vin got Purple Day shirts, watched Animal House at Becca's. Got purple frosting for my cake. Went to Vin's and finished watching the movie with him Becca and Jenny. Decorated the cake, then ate it. Went to work. Got out early to go gnoming with Becca and Jenny against Vin and his cousins.

Today (Thursday), me Vin and Abadie left school after 4th and went to the mall where they stole madd shit, and I bought a new ring. Went to Vin's, chilled with his cousins and played Halo2. Becca and Jenny came. Went to get pizza at Dino's, and I stole Becca's cigarettes. Larry showed up. Went to Abadie's, where they played more Halo.

Now I gots to go study for a chem test that Im gonna fail tomarrow. Then I need to try and stay up for Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Meatwad is a pussy. The End.

Alot happened this week, the thing is i just remember some of the highlights of the week and forgot when they happened...

- Vin Larry Becca Jenny and Kristian came over one night and chilled at my house. I think Jenny and Becca came back later that night....
- Finished my bottle of Bacardi Gold
- Vin's Grandma's wake. Funeral the next day.
- Napoleon Dynomite at my house house with Jenny. Diner afterwards.
- Wendy's in there somewhere.
- Vin's house madd late for 2 nights in a row.
- Some other stuff.
- Work by myself cause Vin was at one of the wakes.
- Cuomo and Percy went to Penn. to meet some girl.
- Sushi. Shrimp Tempura Rolls are surprising good.
- Got to lazy to think of more things that happened.

Got to go watch Family Guy and Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Peace.

It's Thursday and so far this has been one of the most eventful weeks in a long time....

On Sunday, I don't remeber much but, Becca and Jenny visited me and Vin at work, and they had a cake made for us in the shape of a heart. Watched some Chris Rock stand up, which was madd funny.

Monday was kinda lost from my memory but, on Tuesday me and Vin baked a b-day cake for his Mom at my house, while being supervised and laughed at by Bex and Jenny. Larry came by, then Abadie came, and then Caitlyn adn Ali. Everybody got a kick out of my little brother and sisters. I don't know why. We then went down to Vin's and chilled until his Mom and Dad got back from their dinner. Fell asleep during the movie Labrynth cause it was boring.

Wednesday, Vin and I had work. Bex and Jenny visited us again while it was really slow, then in a matter of 5 mins the place got packed. During work Vin all of a sudden came up to me and said that he had to leave cause his Grandma just passed away, so work sucked from then on. After work, Vin picked me up and we chilled with Cuomo and Percy. Talked alot. Came back to my house and played pool.

So far today i went donw to Vin's Grandpa's house and helped out a bit. Went back to Vins with Larry. Jenny Stopped by, then Becca stopped by.

Probably gonna get trashed somewhere. Call me. Peace.


R.I.P. Vin's Grandma